


Dave: Do Anything To Get...Arrested?

by UnhelpfulPanda



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crossdressing, Crying During Sex, Dirty Talk, Handcuffs, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Miscommunication, Orgasm Delay, Sexual Roleplay, Spanking, Teacher/Student Roleplay, dave is a crier because i think its cute, i think that's it???, or should i say misCUMmunication???, police/inmate roleplay, technically its police/student roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 04:02:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6500020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnhelpfulPanda/pseuds/UnhelpfulPanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Dave agree to do sexy roleplay, but Dave is not a good listener and gets things mixed up. But he makes up for it and they have lots of fun</p><p>(for the record, I'm not sorry, so just enjoy it for what it is, porn without plot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dave: Do Anything To Get...Arrested?

            Dave Strider sat in his seat and waited as patiently as he could manage. Which is to say, not at all. He tapped his fingers eagerly against the school desk he had stolen (“ _Borrowed! Borrowed without permission._ ”) from Rose. Not that he really wanted to know _why_ she had a school desk, but it would come in handy for him today so he wasn’t complaining.

            The schoolgirl outfit had been a bit harder to procure because of his height, but luckily he was lanky enough that he could wear the one he bought on EBay with no problems beside the skirt not covering his ass. Hashtag tall crossdresser problems. That was far from an actual problem, considering his plans for the outfit. The only issues he really had were that the chair was cold and the breeze between his legs was unusual.

            Oh, and that his dweeby boyfriend was taking too long to get ready. How long did it take to make himself look like a school teacher? Especially since it wasn’t like he was being filmed for a porno or anything.

            Dave heard the doorknob to their bedroom jiggle, and then said dweeb was stepping inside the room and closing it behind him. John was practically vibrating in excitement, turning to look at his lover with a big grin.

            They stared at each other for a few minutes.

            “Dave,” John began.

            “John,” Dave replied calmly.

            “Why are you wearing a schoolgirl outfit?”

            “I think the real question is; why are you wearing a cop outfit?”

            It wasn’t as if he didn’t look good, because he did. Dave had a bit of a kink for uniforms, especially on his hot as fuck boyfriend. But the plastic badge and handcuffs were not what he expected.

            “Daaaaave!” John whined, pouting like a child. “We agreed on the cop and inmate roleplay!”

            Dave opened his mouth to argue, but now their conversation was coming back to him. They did indeed agree on the cop and inmate roleplay, but Dave’s brain (and dick) were stuck on getting spanked by his sexy ‘teacher’ and he had forgotten their decision.

            “Shit, John, I’m sorry,” he frowned.

            “How are we gonna roleplay as a cop and a schoolgirl?” John grumbled, trying in vain to hide how grumpy he was. He just wanted to handcuff Dave and have his way with the sexy blonde! Now all his plans were thrown out the window.

            Dave wracked his brain for a solution. He didn’t want his outfit to go to waste, but it _was_ his fault things got mixed up and he wanted to cheer John up. “I got an idea. Close your eyes,” Dave ordered.

            “Huh? What’s your idea? Why do I have to close my eyes?” John quizzed.

            “Just do it, Egbert!” John rolled his eyes and covered them with his hands. He could hear Dave rustling around a bit, and then Dave called for him to look.

            Not much had changed. Dave had ruffled his hair and unbuttoned his shirt, and was leaning back casually in his chair. “I think I’m missing something,” John mumbled, eyes narrowing to try to understand what the difference meant.

            “The principal couldn’t handle me so they called the cops, huh? That’s fine by me, Officer. It’s not my first playdate with the police,” Dave smirked, shrugging and getting into character. He winked one ruby eye at John and John finally understood.

            “Mister Strider, I heard you had been….” John stopped mid sentence, furrowing his brow in thought. “You’ve been, uh….doing that thing…that illegal thing….that thing that’s illegal that you’ve been doing,” he rambled.

            Dave rolled his eyes at his lover’s antics. “Is fucking in the school bathrooms really _that_ illegal?” He asked in mock innocence, successfully feeding information to John.

            John stepped forward, leaning over the blonde with a smirk. “Yes, young man, it’s a very serious crime, being a slut in public,” John said seriously, though he couldn’t help throwing out the word that made a shiver go down Dave’s back.

            “Well, Officer, I guess you’ll just have to arrest me,” Dave sighed, getting up out of his seat.

            “I don’t know about arresting you. I could just let you off with a warning,” John mused.

            “No!” Dave snapped, then cleared his throat and added, in a sultry tone, “Oh Officer Egbert, please, I’d do anything to get…arrested.”

            There was a beat of silence while they got past the awkwardness of that line. Then John grabbed Dave by the wrist and twisted him around until he was bent over the desk with his arms behind his back and his bare ass pressed against John’s clothed hard-on.

            John fastened the handcuffs around his boyfriend’s thin wrists. He had made sure to get a pair that was soft on the inside, especially since Dave liked to tug on his restraints when he was close to orgasm. He quietly placed a finger in Dave’s palm, waiting for his partner to tell him everything was okay and that he could continue. Dave curled his hand into a fist around John’s finger, squeezing gently to give the go-ahead.

            John smiled warmly at his lover, which went unnoticed by the other boy. Slowly, the brunette’s gaze drifted down Dave’s body until he came to the obvious lack of underwear. He chuckled darkly, grinding the bulge in his pants up against Dave’s bare backside.

            “No panties, Strider? I guess we’ll have to add public indecency to your record,” John smirked, pressing his pointer finger to Dave’s hole, but pulled back when he noticed the wetness. Dave whined quietly, his head hitting the desk with a ‘thunk!’

            John gripped a handful of Dave’s hair and pulled his head back up, adoring the delicious moan his boyfriend made at the action. “Strider, did you already stretch your little slut hole for me? Did you suspect you were going to get arrested today?” John scolded lightly, letting his finger return to tease Dave’s stretched asshole.

            “Actually, I was expecting to beg my teacher for better grades, but this is good too,” Dave retorted, though his voice had taken on a more breathy tone. John punished the blonde for his impudence by shoving two fingers into him. Dave gasped and wriggled, pushing back against the invading fingers.

            “Stay still, Strider, or I’ll make you regret it,” John hissed threateningly. Dave glanced over his shoulder at the brunette, smirking to show that he had been squirming on purpose.

            “Oh Officer, please! I’m so exposed in this position! I _hope_ you don’t _spank me_!” Dave called in an obvious demand for what he wanted.

            “Well, us officers have been under scrutiny lately for use of excessive force, so I probably shouldn’t use any more force than necessary to subdue you,” John mused, removing his fingers as he spoke.

            Dave looked over his shoulder, his face scrunched up in confusion and irritation. “I literally do not care,” he replied fiercely, baring his teeth.

            John shoved the blonde’s head back down against the desk and pulled back his arm, bringing his open palm down hard against Dave’s exposed ass. Dave cried out in a mixture of pleasure, pain, and surprise.

            “Didn’t I tell you that you had the right to remain silent? Everything you say can and will result in more spanking,” John chuckled.

            “I thought you weren’t going to use more force than was necessary?” Dave groaned, biting back a gasp at the next hit.

            “For sluts like you, all the force is necessary force,” John explained, bringing his hand down three times in quick succession. Dave moaned loudly, rolling his hips in vain to get friction on his ignored erection.

            “God, please, just fuck me! Please!” Dave begged, jerking with a cry at another hard hit to his sore ass.

            “Who’s my little whore, Dave? Who’s my good little bitch?” John prompted, kneading the red cheeks with his stinging palms.

            “I-I am,” Dave whimpered, biting back a scream at the next hit.

            “Louder. Are you my good little whore?” John demanded.

            “Yes! Yes, fuck, I’m yours, I’m your good boy, please fuck me I need you please!” Dave pleaded desperately. John pulled back on the blonde’s head to get to his mouth, shoving his tongue into the other’s mouth possessively. Dave moaned into his lover’s mouth, whining quietly when John pulled back.

            “Where’s the lube?” John asked, breathing harshly in Dave’s ear. Dave jerked a hand to attempt to point, groaning softly when he remembered the handcuffs.

            “Bedside table, like always,” he murmured, watching John come around in front of him to retrieve the lube. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his swollen cock, lubing himself while Dave watched hungrily.

            “You’re drooling,” John snorted, and Dave’s ears went red at the statement. “Don’t worry, I like it,” he reassured as he moved back behind the blonde, lining up his dick with Dave’s entrance. “Are you ready?”

            “Yes of course I’m ready, stupid; I was ready an hour ago!” Dave snapped, squeezing his eyes shut at the small slap to his red ass. It was much softer than before, but he was already sore.

            “Let’s try that again. Are you ready, Dave?” John prompted with a warning in his voice.

            “Yes, Officer Egbert, I’m ready,” Dave swallowed thickly, biting his lip when he felt John pressing in.

            “Relax, baby, I’ll make you feel good,” John purred, and Dave took a few deep breaths to calm down, allowing his lover to push in the rest of the way. “Oh Dave, you’re so tight and hot. Can I move?” he asked breathlessly.

            Dave nodded eagerly, wiggling his hips in an effort to get his lover moving. John pulled out almost all the way and paused.

            “Fuck, Egbert, will you just- AH!” Dave screamed mid-sentence as John shoved back in roughly. John smirked, gripping the blonde's hips and starting up a brutal pace. Dave pushed back on each thrust, and the room filled with the slapping of skin on skin and filthy moans tumbling from both their mouths.

            “You're so perfect, baby,” John panted, leaning over and nibbling on the back of Dave's neck. “My perfect boy. My good little slut.”

            Dave keened, his lover's words sending a jolt through his body and making his cock leak precum on his skirt. If he had still been coherent, he would have asked John to pull the skirt down to save it from the mess, but all he could manage was a strangled cry of John's name.

            John bit down on the side of Dave’s neck, a bit harder than intended, as his words caused his boyfriend to tighten up around his dick almost painfully. Dave mewled, the cuffs around his wrists rattling as he struggled. “Please!” Dave gasped out.

            “Please what, Dave?” John chuckled darkly, speeding up his thrusts.

            “Let me cum! Please! Please, John!” Dave begged, tears making his eyesight blurry. John reached around the blonde’s hips to squeeze the base of his neglected erection.

            “Not until I say so,” John retorted dangerously. Dave let his head drop onto the desk under him, whimpering as tears spilled down his cheeks. John cooed at the pitiful boy under him, petting heavily down his back with his free hand and angling his thrusts until a strangled moan from the boy under him let him know he had hit his prostate.

            “John! John, please, it hurts!” Dave pleaded. John sped up his thrusts, feeling his own orgasm approaching rapidly. His hand on his lover’s dick matched the thrusting of his hips, and Dave let out a small sob at the pleasure borderlining on being too much for him.

            “Come for me, baby, come for me now,” John purred, and Dave jerked violently as he moaned loudly and came all over John’s hand and his own skirt. John groaned as his lover’s body tightened up around him and buried himself in deep as he came. Dave let out another soft moan at the feeling, pulling on the restraints around his wrists.

            The two took a few minutes to catch their breath, John laying his forehead between Dave’s shoulderblades. The only sound was their breathing until Dave cleared his throat. “Can you get your dick out of my ass now? Its gone soft and it feels weird.”

            “Oh. Yeah, sorry,” John mumbled, pulling out with a small hiss.

            “Aaaand now I have cum dripping down my leg…” Dave groaned, and the brunette let out a snort as he cleaned his lover up and undid the handcuffs.

            “I got these handcuffs specifically so you wouldn’t bruise your wrists, and they still bruised,” John sighed, rubbing the soreness away. Dave shrugged, using his free hand to wipe away stray tears. John grinned and pulled the taller male into his arms, kissing his forehead. “Did you enjoy yourself? Was it too much?”

            “Nah, it was great. Who knew a schoolgirl and a cop could have such great sex together?” Dave snorted. John laughed, picking Dave up easily and carrying him over to their bed. “Are we gonna sleep? I so am ready for a sleep,” Dave asked.

            “A sleep? I definitely agree that you should have a sleep, Dave,” John smiled, stripping himself and then his boyfriend. He crawled into bed and Dave instinctively curled up into him. “Hey by the way, where did you get the school desk?”

            “Stole it from Rose,” Dave murmured into John’s chest.

            “What?! Are you kidding?? We got cum all over that thing and you’re telling me now that its Rose’s???” John cried out.

            “Not anymore, I’ve claimed it with my cum.”

            “That’s gross.”

            “Says the guy who shot his load up my ass ten minutes ago.”

            John rolled his eyes and began petting the blonde hair gently. “Whatever, you dweeb, go to sleep,” he snorted. Dave mumbled incoherently and was asleep within seconds.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry the ending was terrible I couldn't think of how to end it tbh.
> 
> Dave cums on things to claim them, apparently.
> 
> I also added in my JohnDave headcanon for how they ask if the other is okay without verbally breaking the scene
> 
> Anyways! Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
